a great need.



Of a great need

We are all holding hands

And climbing.

Not loving is a letting go


The terrain around here


Far too





i love birthdays. always have. always will. i love your birthday. i love my birthday. i love ritual. i love celebrating. i love a gathering. i love showing up. count me in. 

this year, this birthday, leaving the 30's to initiate the 40's, i swam through molasses trying to get the right feel for what it would be, what was aligned with my heart, what felt true. the only clarity was the ocean. i wanted to be near or on the ocean. after going back and forth for days i had to surrender to not knowing. i shared this struggle with a dear friend, who sat with me for hours* trying to figure it out and what i kept coming up against or swimming inside of was the vulnerable terrain of my own heart break. 

i thought i had healed it all up. needle and thread style. sutured up the lessons learned, the forgiveness (on-going), the breathing, the tears, the confusion, the anger, the crash landings, and the immense courage to let go. i am not sure if we ever get all healed up.... maybe it is inside all the healing we make room for more love and little by little, drop by drop, we don't feel as empty, as broken, as lonely. 

i decided to call in a healing circle for my heart. coming into 40 might just mean more healing. i mean what else is there really? with some cake and cocktails too.... the women who came together were friends i have had for a long time. women who are healers and artists, mothers and daughters, poets and circle holders. their showing up started the conversation in my heart for what friendship looks like.... 

for as long as i can remember i have been insatiably curious about how women create, nourish and sustain their friendships. how some of us are best friends in an instant and others take longer to marinate. how we connect and hold space for each other, our growth and our mistakes, our values, how we respect each other or don't. how we dance around worth and esteem, vulnerability and shame. how we don't want to hurt feelings so we talk to someone else instead of each other about our hearts, our fears, our passions. how we run away, how we stay on the surface or how we dive deep to connect and hear each other. then add on marriage, motherhood, work and more needs then you ever imagined. how do we do it?

when it comes to friendship: i am pot committed. it is one of the most important relationships for me, for my nourishment and for my growth. friendship is a well of opportunity for me to show up, to learn empathy, to not judge, to speak my truth and to receive love. it can get pretty messy as we recreate the stories our mothers showed us inside their friendships, their sisterhood, how they related or didn't relate. i am finding that friendship is such a precious gift. 

i believe we need each other more than ever. life is in full session. we have dreams to follow, we have babies to feed and we have marriages to nurture. we need a safe space to land even if it's a 2 minute hug with a me too on the end of it. i am calling in a healing circle for all of us. why are we not holding each other up, facing our fears to be daring with our hearts, creating safety for each other? why are we waiting when we are so hungry for this kind of connection? we are amazing when we get together. we make medicine. we drop down into our bodies. we write new stories. like hafiz says above: the terrain around here is far too dangerous for that.


i hope to inspire you to call in what you need on your birthday or any day... to call in what nourishes you, to ask for what you need, to start the cycle of receiving from those you love and those who love you. i would love to read your feelings, your stories about friendship... please comment below. 

feeling & running & gratitude.

this is my daughter beauty & her amazing teacher abigail. abigail, as you can see, is one of the most radiant beings. she is fierce and full and light all in the same breath. she has a gumby like patience that could stretch for days. abigail is a deep knowing of love. it lives inside her glow, it's always on like a slow cooker simmering from her soul. it's woven inside her blood, her skin, her stories. abigail has become one of my teachers too.

when it's time for me to leave beauty at school, there is always a moment on the way to the car that i say thank you, thank you, thank you for this safe, magical and love filled place. i think the gratitude, i speak the gratitude but do i feel the gratitude? i feel the magic. i feel the joy even if it's just a minute. do i feel the gratitude? so i have been feeling into feeling the gratitude.

in my personal research, i am finding that feeling the gratitude is a little harder then just saying it and moving on with life. truly stopping to feel into the gratitude is a whole other thing. it's a moment, just like the other moment and totally different than the mental moment. why is it more challenging to feel than to think? feeling is what we did so naturally as babes. thinking wasn't as natural as feeling right? it's like opposite day to my body. does it feel this way to you? 

i find in my self practice and in my healing practice with others that running from seems like the easier approach. the remedies of honesty & curiosity are not even taken into consideration. we develop anxieties, panic, body issues, stress from running to feel. as though are feelings are the law and will be here forever.  as we all know, our feelings change ALL the time. why are we doing this? if we lean into our feelings, our darkness, our fears, they disperse. if we share our feelings with those who are triggering them or involved in some way then you both can be set free. we are no longer holding onto the feelings, we are creating space for truth which creates connection which is what we are all so hungry for! to connect deeply, to be understood, to be gotten! yes? are you hungry for this? when a friend understands my heart, i am nourished for days.  why are we not being honest with ourselves and each other? 

so....back to gratitude in the studio ;).  i am working my way to feeling gratitude and when i do there is a very simple moment that is deeply intimate. i believe this moment is called grace. i am finding my way there in the moments. in the moments surrounded by crazy noise, stress, fear, anxiety, motherhood and more. of course, it's easier when things are good.  feeling into gratitude is the way to the ground. it's how i root into what is important right now. it's a way to lower the volume on all that is not serving me. how do you ground in and lower the volume? are you a runner of feelings? what are you hungry for in feeling? please share in the comments below! i would love to hear you xxxx


doing the dishes.

who knew having your kitchen sink on the outs

would be so much fun. this was definitely

one of those glass half full moments. it had been a few

days and 

the dirty plates with remnants of old scrambled egg

were beginning to pile up along with the ball jars, 

silverware & wooden boards. we were not able to use

the sink at all or it began to flood. this is usually

a moment where i need to breathe deeply trusting that

all will be ok. what really happens looks something like

oh sh*&($*#&, oh god, oh fu*@&$(*@#....

it was flooding the garage and the smell was not

apricot colored roses everybody.

at the moment, the only thing holding me together

(as i heard the 

big splashing sounds of water in the garage)

is the kabbalistic thought 

that a flood means


so you can bring that on right about now! main office is where?

yeah, you got it, 

the kitchen!

so, that was fun.

after a few days, i could no longer keep the

pile going 

around the sink (it was killing me).

at dinner, i told the kids that we are not only

going to take our plates up tonight, we are going to 

take them out on the patio, hose them down and

use buckets, sponges & soap oh my!

they were really excited.

they wanted their own sponge

(fyi, if you want to do this tonight)

we set up a big bucket and put towels out.

i couldn't believe how much fun they were having

scrubbing all the plastic yellow bits of egg, strawberry 

stained wood boards and more... they really got into it.

it was the new evening meditation

(not that we have an old one)

o asked

can we do this every night?

i am sharing this because it was nourishing for each of us

in many ways: 

the simplicity of the fun, the 

feeling of the circle

of nourishment 

from gathering to cooking to 

cleaning where you

nourished from, 

doing it together, seeing how much they love to help,

to be apart of the process & how hard it was for them to stop.

i feel that i am always hungry for the

simplest things... this was one of them.

i would love to hear what is 


your kids and family these days?

big love beautiesxxxx



sign up here

fragile confession.

i woke up this morning, went pee, picked up a deliciously inspiring book, got back into bed, put my new readers on (yes, i am wearing glasses...) and stayed there. in bed. i stayed in bed reading. it's friday. it's a weekday. i read chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, i kept going till chapter 8. i said i would tell no one. uh-oh.

i am holding this sweet & fragile hope that i will do this again, soon. i do not want to wait until i am sick or by a pool in hawaii with a nanny to support this simple desire to feed myself in this way. it's been 8 years of waiting. it's not necessarily trending in our culture to stay in bed and read unless one is on vacation or sick. right? to just stop and listen to my body, to hear what she wants instead of what i automatically do. profound for a healthy weekday morning. no? 

the calendar for today read 'me time' which looks like this: wake up with the sun and/or two children fighting in our bed for our morning 'love' fest, brush baby teeth, brush my teeth, ask kids not to run in the bathroom, stretch super small leggings over my wintery white legs, exercise which means walk vigorously in the neighborhood for about an hour to beyonce on pandora, make a tea, figure out where to write, work on my resistance to write and meditate on how i have such little time for the novels of things i need/want to do (boring story) and hopefully get to work. the only issue with that plan is it's non-stop. it's go, go, go. it's my everyday. 

i am not feeling so hungry for that go, go, go but i keep cutting it up & putting it on the wood board. i keep eating it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. i want more of me and less of doing. i want to eat receiving. you can quote me on that one. i want to read all the books i keep buying. i want to drink the tea in the microwave that i find in there the next day.* i want to listen when my body says 'can we stay in bed and read for a bit?' there is no way i can give, give, give the out if i am not refueling with the in. right? it's an old song usually sung while making a soup. the healing, the in, the inner piece can be found in a hot pot of something. peeling carrots, sauteing onions. this is all true. i heal while creating nourishment to feed others. few birds, one stone.

what if i want to make some new soup? i am hungry for new soup.

then i get all crazy in the club with life, the huge needs, my resistance and before you know it another year has passed. i am going on record to say... i want to get off line and go IN-line... get inside again....nourish all the hungry bits...teaching, inspiring, creating, giving the permission from a place of being a bit more sated inside could get me to that hawaii feeling or just in bed for an extra hour with juicy words and my readers on. i will let you know how it goes. happy new year beautiesxxxx

*going to stop using the microwave in 2014 too*

cooking inside a busy life//part 1.


have you noticed a shift?

where the heck am i? 

where are all the recipes, posts & poetry?

i am on a remote island where there

are no bars (wine or cell phone),

there are no extra hands, only mine &

i am needed 24/7.. sound familiar?

i am writing you from motherhood

as i always have yet we are a bit

under construction here...

therefore the ability 

to do it all

has temporarily changed 

to doing what

i can in the rare increments 

of time that

show up like a surprise goat at my door

offering my favorite yogurt

(which we spoke about before)

i could tell you that i am on vacation

but that would be flat out lying.

here is some inspiring beauty 


windrose farms

they have some gorgeous carrots this time of year

and it's time to roast em' beauties!

roasting is SO easy and

here is the secret

if you are home for an hour

put something in the oven

don't worry


when you 

will eat

or how

or with what


on your way to make your coffee

turn the oven on to 375 - 400

grab your carrots or a whole butternut

(whatever you got)

put them in a casserole dish

pour some olive oil & salt

put in oven & let your day begin

(put on the timer for 20 minutes here)

what do you usually do now? 

shower? kids brekkie & lunch?

check email? go cray cray in the club?

whatever it is 

you can be cooking while you

are rocking your life at the same time!

after about 20 minutes:

fork your veggies & move them around

and with the (softer) squash:

cut it in half with the flesh down, 

skin up

and go for another 20 minutes

(the timer is KEY here)

then take out, turn it all off &

put a cloth over the roasted veggies

let it be OUT on the stove top

yes.. this is another secret

that i had no idea was a secret

until my clients couldn't believe


of just leaving it out!

we were not taught to prioritize food in a simple

way unless you lived in a home where

cooking was happening as a natural part of the day,

like bathing, laundry, working, talking...

 allowing for the creation of our food to

meld into our everyday, our 


to nourishing ourselves & doing everything

else at the same time is vital to cooking inside a busy life!

so try it & let me know how it goesxxxx

hi from motherhood.

- eating too much goat dairy

- feeling like i have no time

- maintenance feels good

- 1st grade is sweet

- i am a dancer

- we vowed to change the patterns from which we came

- motherhood was not valued as a life changing job

- redefining motherhood

- conversations inside my body

- i love my body

- i love my babies bodies

- ready to let the intense stress go

- loving the

 first scent of soup meandering about the house, in and out of corners, stirring up my desire to write words down

- looking at the clock: a killjoy on my insatiable hunger

- learning to trust

- taking more showers

- trying to let go of heartache

- drinking (a little

) more water

- loving me some rose with an accent over the e

- grateful for the figs from the post manxxxx


i want to talk about freedom
i want to hear yours and
i will tell you mine

here is the thing...i am not living fully inside of my freedom (or even half way but who's counting?) i feel crazy saying this as we are some of the luckiest people in the world to be so free.

i have written & rewritten this post, sitting in front of words that are blurring, asking what they want from me, another blank screen, deleting more than usual and trying to figure out what i am supposed to learn (from my words to you) about freedom.. this just in: it's an ENORMOUS subject (heads up if you ever want to write about it).

earlier on (back in 1776 :) when my canvas on life was a little less full, pre-marriage, pre-kids, with a different kind of chaos, freedom was a key ingredient to the kind of meal i was cooking up with the universe, intentions & independence intact, like a beautiful cork board of pinned images, quotes & thoughts.  i was inside of my freedom creating the next evolution of me. i was in my body, i was inside every choice, inside each creative moment, i was also on my way to yoga, a steam, body work, painting the 30th painting about relationships and taking NAPS... ahhhhh naps.

split the screen to that cork board coming alive in a real way, with that nonstick tape that ruins the walls & stays there forever: a husband, 2 young kids, financial hardship, health challenges, life in the insane lane & more...

freeeeedom? freeeeedom? come out, come out, wherever you are!

when i ask myself about freedom now, today, july 3rd, 2013, my first thought is "i hope i am giving enough of it to my children, i hope they feel free" as though i am the keeper of their freedom and then i realize, i am the keeper of their freedom. it feels absolutely tragic for kids not to have freedom to explore their world, their feelings, their bodies, evolve inside their own rhythms, steep inside the generosity, abundance and beauty that freedom gives us so freely...

then i go a step further, realizing that my freedom is their freedom... my kids, my family, my community. if i am the keeper of their freedom, i must be the keeper of my freedom...DING! the freedom award goes to....ME!

then i look at my freedom. oy vey. it's an exhausted, cross-eyed, blurred bit of  self care hanging on a tattered string, it's a pair of crappy black out shades not doing the job, a dash of desperation, an old pair of cushion-less new balance sneakers with the last remnants of paint all over them reminding me of a time when i was free with mental flashbacks of clear ocean waters, pina coladas, endless moments of time (with maybe a nap thrown in) & being able to complete a sentence, a thought, an idea without being interrupted by anyone under 7 years old. it's a time when my words might have still meant something to someone. 

i feel that freedom is not lost, i just lost it along the way.  the best thing about freedom is i get to create it again, customize it for how i will thrive today in my life, make a shape of freedom that fits inside the chaos so that i can breathe better & live deeper in my life instead of waiting to grab all of it later (like after the storm, which will never end, thankfully). 

i think i have been hungry, ok, starving for some more freedom. i guess it always comes back to hunger, nourishment and how we are sating these pieces in our lives. i will let you know how it goes.

happy independence day beautiesxxxx

i miss you.

i say this every time there is a very long & arduous DROUGHT in the RM blog realm and it's true every time:

i miss you.

i miss me

. i miss the the luxury to tap in, to share what's happening in & out of my kitchen, to take a sip from a warm something, write some more & water this fertile ground of feeding each other.

the silence that you are hearing is unfortunately not what i am two kid rompus has begun and it's in full force. not to mention my business that needs nourishment to grow, the dreams that need to float down from the 'roam freely' aisle and ground into something that continues to inspire change in america's kitchen culture. 

what culture you ask? exactly... this is what i am talking about! is this thing on? i'm here all night. 

did i mention self-care? oh, did i miss that? all of this 'me time' i have been experiencing these days is profound. i can hear you laughing and it's feeding the 'me too' part of this party we are experiencing together.

where have i been? right here in my kitchen, cooking for wonderful women & families who are in a time of their lives where they need this love i am cooking up... whether they are here for a week, coming home from a trip or busy forever....this nourishment, this food that i am honored to create with the best ingredients from amazing farmers is a niche situation. i opened up the RM 'private cooking' wing and took a few new clients. in time, i will teach them how to do this on their own (they may not know this yet ;)

we CAN weave food into our day to day (busy, chaotic, insane, no time, american) lives when we are ready to make food important in our lives.  

when we touch down into our bodies & allow food to be an emotional, doable & simple experience than we make room for what is possible, even if you have NO idea how it's going to happen. THEN: you call me & we create a kitchen that flows efficiently, with all the right tools & a custom schedule for your life that makes sense for your work, family, you etc.. we cook together, we shop together, we birth this piece into your lives & before you know it.. you are making beautiful, organic, healthy & delicious food! you will feel like new. email me


if your ear is to the door and you want more... no more broccoli & pasta ruts in the RM world. a miracle will fix that right up! 

speaking of....

something that i am in desperate need of is A MIRACLE! this is the first one of the fall..if you have never been

to my kitchen and you are waiting for the perfect's


!! this fall bounty is gorgeous. please don't wait for this kind of beauty, the feeding each other is so important for all of us... this wonderful gathering of women, food, abundance, laughter... it's 100000% soul satisfaction or your money back. oh! and you will be inspired & empowered with the know how to cook seasonal, healthy & delicious food! come one, come all! 


10ish - 1ishpm


jules kitchen

2 spots left!


more dates coming soon! see you in the kitchen soon beautiesxxxxjules