i woke up heart broken in the best way.
i stretch my spine
my pelvis
my hips
and their story
each crack and crevice
slurping up all the cream
thick pain with a crusty rind peeling off the surface
this story is ready to go
a deep undercurrent sounds like my voice in every scene
lighting the candle to call it in
the world inside me and the world inside you
waits and works and waits some more
like an ant patiently creating its empire
twig and crumb
twig and crumb
a feast to feed it's village
what is this divine wanting?
to water each weed will never work for harvesting the nutrients to grow this story
holding on
like to a purse on the subway
moving in and out of our own traffic
so many stop signs
looking left and looking right
to be sure
to be cautious
to be smart my mother would say
what's a mother again?
the stop sign?
the car?
the light?
all of the above?
allowing the light to be green is an evolution
that i believe i can keep going is a revolution
i don't even know if there is a word for it
move to where you are looking
says the yoga teacher
i know if you breathe something good will happen
i know if you breathe out LOUD
you will inspire others to let go
let go and live
to live is to WANT
you can call it survival, i have for years.
until now.
until today.
i am opening up the hood to take a look at the engine
i am creating a new kind of fuel
a fuel that will run me straight into the kind of beauty that will break my heart again and again
inside the lavender, the tendrils of basil, the thick red veins of chard
inside the mountains so fierce and radical in their groundedness
oh how they move me
they are introducing me to the parts of me who have been sitting shivah for way too long
as i draw the floral linen shades up
the vastness grabs me again
she asks me to dance
call it what you want
it feels like heart break
in the best way.