ravenous.

ravenous

I am ravenous

(no second guessing)

learning who I am inside this feast

this beast

this breath

struggling to write

I hear my belly moan

what is her famous song?

downloading the exhaustion

the broken pieces

the sewn up threads

my boot straps are up

my bags are packed

for a quieter life

a place that feels like that first sip

the warmth softening me

inside that tea

she’s a muse for all of me

I want more of less

turn down the volume

slow the bus

oil up the joints

lets sit ravenous for the breath

ravenous to take off the masks

unveil, make room, stare at your face in the mirror for a long time

pregnant with producing, being, raising, growing,

cooking it all up

this stew of motherhood

ravenous to try it all on

ravenous to let it simmer for years

the fire will take care of the fat

I will try the innards, create a shape and call it a day

ravenous for this morning- this paper, this pencil, this limoges tea cup

stirring me round and round

ravenous for a chat

slowing down to let go

teaching the gospel before I know the lines

faking it before I am making it

sitting in lotus with my hips on fire

little bonfires in the bank accounts of my sciatica

my bones trying to tell me the story

in a language I only hear as pain

maybe its longing

maybe all I will ever know how to do in this life is write,

make a tea and breathe

I want to invite kindness to every party

let go of my expectations

I want to move my body in a way that says: I love you, I love every single molecule of you, I want to travel the world with you and the seven seas with you so that I might get a bit lighter

lose the barnacles that hold me here, the shackles of an agenda put here way before I got here--- trying to transcribe the language, decipher the font, a map nailed to those innards floating around me between the boiling bubbles and the toiling troubles

so sick & tired of sucking at this teet

to look for no mother in the room

all the babies in wide wood bowls

free to roam on cake plates

in their cozy vessels

where they are seen and heard, seen and heard, seen and heard!

when will that musical be over?

I have the playbill in hand 

turning to the page entitled

‘how to make a life’

reaching for some plain m&m’s

I sink down in my chair and

wait for the second act to begin.

summer miracle.

beauties

let's make a miracle!!

it's BEYOND GORGE

at the market these days

come to my kitchen 

for a beauty love feast

where you will be immersed & inspired

with a seasonal & intentional gathering

of food, poetry, ideas & more

nourishing YOU to nourish them

reconnect with your vital need for BEAUTY

(in and out of the kitchen)

bring your needs, your hunger, your stories

you will leave the miracle

transformed

inspired

sated

deeply nourished

informed

happy

loved

ready

excited

& LIGHTER

with abundant offerings

to continue the miracle at home

XXXX

SUMMER MIRACLE

JULY 11 2014

FRIDAY

10 - 2PM

sign up here

XXXX

*sign up by july 4*

santa rosa plum crumble.

summer is all about the crumbles

as is all the gorgeous deliciousness

that occurs in the bubbling currant beneath

the crispy buttery love fest happening up top.

they are also the EASIEST things to make

you can get fancy and try all sorts

but i like it with butter, flour & fruit.

that's how i roll (until time doubles).

here is one with santa rosa plums from

kens top notch produce. you can find ken

and his gang in hollywood on sundays and

south pasadena thursdays. you can also 

rock this recipe out with white nectarines, green

pluots (with the fuschia center), berries of all kinds

and peaches, yellow & white.. you can do this in a 

pie with crumble on top or a buttered dish square,

circle or oval.. there are so many ways to make this

sweet love party happen in your home.

so here it goes. 

the crumble

first things first

turn oven to 400

gather

1 stick unsalted butter

you can melt this or

chop into tiny bits

using a knife & your hands

up to you

easiest way: melt it

1/2 cup sugar

(some sugar depending

on sweetness of fruit)

3/4 cup flour (i used cup 4 cup

gluten free flour for this one)

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp salt

mix it

pour, cut, chop fruit*

into buttered dish or pie crust

in a separate, wide top bowl

mix everything else together

then crumble over the fruit

covering as much as you can

you can place it on a baking sheet

and then put it in the oven as it

might drip a bit with the fruit juice

you can bring oven down to 350-375

you can bake it for 30 minutes or so

depending on your oven and the fruit

sometimes it needs a lot more time

how will you know? 

when it's crispy and light brown up top 

with the fruit juice bubbling over and thru it

*note to self: add more fruit then you think

as it shrinks while cooking

let me know how you go beauties

XXXX

need a summer miracle? 

sign up here

the last picture is from the hungry 

mother gathering check here

for schedule & information

xxxx

doing the dishes.

who knew having your kitchen sink on the outs

would be so much fun. this was definitely

one of those glass half full moments. it had been a few

days and 

the dirty plates with remnants of old scrambled egg

were beginning to pile up along with the ball jars, 

silverware & wooden boards. we were not able to use

the sink at all or it began to flood. this is usually

a moment where i need to breathe deeply trusting that

all will be ok. what really happens looks something like

oh sh*&($*#&, oh god, oh fu*@&$(*@#....

it was flooding the garage and the smell was not

apricot colored roses everybody.

at the moment, the only thing holding me together

(as i heard the 

big splashing sounds of water in the garage)

is the kabbalistic thought 

that a flood means

abundance.

so you can bring that on right about now!

and....my main office is where?

yeah, you got it, 

the kitchen!

so, that was fun.

after a few days, i could no longer keep the

pile going 

around the sink (it was killing me).

at dinner, i told the kids that we are not only

going to take our plates up tonight, we are going to 

take them out on the patio, hose them down and

use buckets, sponges & soap oh my!

they were really excited.

they wanted their own sponge

(fyi, if you want to do this tonight)

we set up a big bucket and put towels out.

i couldn't believe how much fun they were having

scrubbing all the plastic yellow bits of egg, strawberry 

stained wood boards and more... they really got into it.

it was the new evening meditation

(not that we have an old one)

o asked

can we do this every night?

i am sharing this because it was nourishing for each of us

in many ways: 

the simplicity of the fun, the 

feeling of the circle

of nourishment 

from gathering to cooking to 

cleaning where you

nourished from, 

doing it together, seeing how much they love to help,

to be apart of the process & how hard it was for them to stop.

i feel that i am always hungry for the

simplest things... this was one of them.

i would love to hear what is 

nourishing

your kids and family these days?

big love beautiesxxxx

SUMMER MIRACLE

JULY 11

sign up here

spring quiche.

beauties!!!!

i agree, it has been WAY too long

i don't need to explain anything to you

because we are all living the dream together

trying to find the ground inside the groundlessness

breathing in & out with the noise

trying to magically create more time in the day

it's all going so fast, so fast, so fast

so here is another pause for us inside all the fast

this pause includes haricot vert & plum radishes

it also includes, hold the phone, whole cream

(BLISS PANTS)

SPRING QUICHE

*this makes 2 quiches*

(you can call it summer

if you need too)

gather

seasonal love

haricot vert

(string beans)

spring peas

asparagus

cherry tomatoes

plum radishes

shallots

green garlic 

olive oil

salt

4 eggs

parmesan

goat cheese

mozzarella

butter

whole cream

crust/gf crust/no crust

work it 

turn on stove to medium fire

grab a saute pan with plenty of room

chop the green garlic & shallot

in a pan with olive oil

massage dish or crust with melted butter

turn oven onto 400 bake

saute all your seasonal veggies

whatever is inspiring you these days

when done//take off the eye//let it cool off

in a big bowl mix 1 cup whole cream

2 whole eggs & 2 egg yolks

shredded cheese of your choice

a little salt

then add your saute mix to the bowl

mix everything lightly together

scrape into pie dish or pie crust

you can use a baking sheet below the pies

for dripping & makes it easy to put into oven

cool it down

you've got to slow it down

ooh watch out

your going to lose control

let it cool all day if you need

lay a beauty towel over it

we have been loving this on the wbl

with a salad, roasted veggies & prosciutto

this is a 1-2 kind of recipe

it's just a one, then a two & done

that is how

fast can

slow down

just a bit

oh and it's delicious

so the pause is more than worth it

let me know how you go

xxxx

SUMMER MIRACLE

JULY 11 2014

sign up here

wood board love.

::::::::::WOOD BOARD LOVE::::::::::

if my work had a thesis

wood board love

would be the title

it is the map, the compass, the seeds

in which i continue to grow & discover the

space to talk about

our food story, our kitchens

healing, our hunger & how we 

nourish ourselves.

at the end of the day, it's a great place to start.

 i am inspired by the board

i cut up whatever has been gathered 

from the 

seasonal wardrobe and

before i know it 

we are creating

delicious concoctions 

i would have

never put together!

it's definitely a family affair

there is no pressure & 

no energy other than 

the beauty

radiating 

from the board, from the source

there is nothing to say

the only thing to do is EAT

(possibly moan)

and try things old and new

i always say...

gather like you are having a party

celebrate nourishing you

DO NOT WAIT for the party

(because you are the party)

then call me in the morning

XXXX

check out wood board love sessions

& kitchen healing 

in 

all shapes and sizes 

here.

unraveling.

i am reveling in my unraveling

letting all the seams go

what it should be

what it seems to be

what i thought it was

who i need to be

i am unraveling.

pin me up

each meridian

take me out of the oven

let me cool and harden

i am making room on the sides of this pan

i am not stuck in here

unraveling never felt so good

pull that seam and let my dress fall down

i am in bed with my lover on a monday at 10am

yeah, thats right

the uneven curtains of where i should be

what i have been

who i am and where i am going

who the fuck knows?

i am healing

i am making room

i am leaning in

sharp edges

kneading ball after ball after ball

breathing round

breathing flat

breathing soft

custom blended for me

everybody has a story

i am so hungry for more of my breath

more of your hardship

lets shop it around

loosen it up

rip me apart

i am alive and the dark side is in the back seat

watch out 

i am taking my time

what was

ain't working

we are going to shift this shit up

hungry mother

mother hungry

lets

 talk to each other

get curious

be of service

hug it out

lets try on the warrior costume

unravel

this groundlessness

ungravel the inevitability of dying

the fear fest that loves to be the line leader

a marriage of old shapes

doesn't fit anymore

lets get under this fat mess

dig up the rotted roots

fire up the rusty pots

smell the aroma

of our needs

ask questions

roast beets

make a tea

and begin

to unravel.

:::::more of this conversation

here:

::::::XXXXBEAUTIES:::::

hungry mother//support group.

::::::::::beauties::::::::::

there is a way, a place, a happening to 

to talk about our hunger, our needs, our nourishment.

where does food & eating align in your everyday?

what is your food story?

where are you inside of everyone's needs? 

where is your hunger hanging out these days?  

hungry mother is a safe space for women to gather,

receive support, nourishment, inspiration & beauty creating 

a new way of feeling into food, how you nourish yourself,

& your family inside of your busy life. 

we will feast on seasonal wood board love that

i gather with love & beauty at the farmers market

every woman is welcome!

mamas, sisters, daughters, grandmas, doulas... all of you!

this is for YOU, please come sans the babes unless

you have tiny ones who need your nourishment.

this is also a beautiful way to connect with

friends, family or clients in a deeper way giving

new language to intimate & possibly vulnerable terrain.

hungry mother is a support group happening

at bini birth in sherman oaks on fridays from 1 - 2:30 pm. 

the first class starts this friday, may 16. sign up here.